Regrets…

You know you have them…maybe they’re regrets wishing you said “Hey” to that girl, or clothes you bought that when you left the store you wanted to bang your head against the wall.

This is a tale of the latter.

I’ve heard so much about retaW, you know that cool Japanese brand that makes those “fragrance tablets”. Well me, like an idiot who was suckered into this cool, sweet smelling, minimalist lifestyle went out and bought those “fragrance tablets”. I was so happy and excited, the tablets were in their cool vacuum packed plastic packing and they had Japanese words on them that made me feel hip.

I think those words in Japanese translated to “You are a massive tool” because that’s how I felt after trying to use them.

retaW advises you to put the tablets into your gym bag, wallet, or any other place necessary to carry the scent (Natural Mystic was my choice obviously) everywhere you go.

“Alright, I’ll do that.” I said to myself.

I ended breaking up these little pieces of paper and placing them in places I wanted that “Natural Mystic” scent…My wallet, my gym bag, sock drawer, and closet.

It didn’t work, not only did it not work, I had these little pieces of shit paper scattered around my belongings, in my gym bag, in my wallet, etc.

The only thing it did was make my Five-Guys receipt smell awesome.

I feel like the biggest sucker ever.

Now before you start being like, “Whatever, dude you didn’t do it right!” Keep in mind I live in a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, NY. So it’s not like I needed to just put the whole thing somewhere. You might also want to keep in mind this is stupid air freshener that I paid $12 for.

So to all who’ve been wondering about that awesome retaW brand, avoid the tablets and stick to a candle.