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Regrets…

Jeremy — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 17:24:55 +0000

You know you have them…maybe they’re regrets wishing you said “Hey” to that girl, or clothes you bought that when you left the store you wanted to bang your head against the wall.

This is a tale of the latter.

I’ve heard so much about retaW, you know that cool Japanese brand that makes those “fragrance tablets”. Well me, like an idiot who was suckered into this cool, sweet smelling, minimalist lifestyle went out and bought those “fragrance tablets”. I was so happy and excited, the tablets were in their cool vacuum packed plastic packing and they had Japanese words on them that made me feel hip.

I think those words in Japanese translated to “You are a massive tool” because that’s how I felt after trying to use them.

retaW advises you to put the tablets into your gym bag, wallet, or any other place necessary to carry the scent (Natural Mystic was my choice obviously) everywhere you go.

“Alright, I’ll do that.” I said to myself.

I ended breaking up these little pieces of paper and placing them in places I wanted that “Natural Mystic” scent…My wallet, my gym bag, sock drawer, and closet.

It didn’t work, not only did it not work, I had these little pieces of shit paper scattered around my belongings, in my gym bag, in my wallet, etc.

The only thing it did was make my Five-Guys receipt smell awesome.

I feel like the biggest sucker ever.

Now before you start being like, “Whatever, dude you didn’t do it right!” Keep in mind I live in a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, NY. So it’s not like I needed to just put the whole thing somewhere. You might also want to keep in mind this is stupid air freshener that I paid $12 for.

So to all who’ve been wondering about that awesome retaW brand, avoid the tablets and stick to a candle.

A bit busy with Esquire

Jeremy — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 16:51:39 +0000

Hey Folks

Sorry, I’ve been blogging over at Esquire.

More goodness coming HERE next week.

Until then, check this most recent post about my purdy Elgin!

11 Watches To Know

Jeremy — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 17:12:53 +0000

via Esquire Mag

Yes, I have a new gig writing for Esquire! I’m their watch columnist now.

Does this mean I know everything about every watch? Absolutely not, but I’m trying my best and I’m always going to be humble about it.

Big thanks to Kurt Soller for the love!

Check it out here!

Business Travel

Jeremy — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:56:38 +0000

Now and again, my job allows me to travel around the globe. It’s quite strange to hop on a plane and wake up in a foreign country. As fun as it is, it can also be quite lonely, but I always try to be observant and aware of what’s around me.

This is a story from my most recent trip.

When I’m standing in security with my shoes off, pushing my bags through the scanner, I always daze off and forget what I’m doing. I mean, you’re standing there for what feels like eons. No shoes, no belt, no nothing, and the entire time, you’re worried about someone smelling your stinky feet (well, I am, at least). No worries though, you’ll make it through.

“Excuse me, sir, please step over here.”

Really? Did I just get called for a random security check? Yes, I did.

Luckily, it doesn’t last too long, and I put my shoes back on and walk towards my gate.

This is where the cliques come out: the Mac folks all sitting with their iPads, the businessmen in their ill-fitting suits and Blackberries, the moms trying to read their Kindles while their kids run in circles.

Then, there’s me. Oh wait… I have a Mac. I’ll sit with you guys, and we can talk about Mac stuff or something, right? Or I can pretend to read my Monocle magazine so you think I’m a cultured fancy pants.

I sit down and start reading.

“Wait! Wait! Hold plane! Hold plane!”

A small woman is dashing towards the gate.

Why is she asking to hold the plane? We don’t board for another 45 minutes.

She runs through and trips over my duffle, spilling her bottle of water all over the floor.

She bends over to pick up her bottle and proceeds to apologize in broken English.

“I sorry, I sorry.”

As she gets closer, I get a whiff of her B.O. She smells like a European at Disney World.

Eventually, the plane starts boarding, and I throw my luggage into the overhead compartment. I’ve become quite obsessed with seatguru so I always go their to find the best seat when I check in. This was one of my little victories.

Aisle seat, 3″ of extra legroom — BINGO!

The seat next to me is empty, too. This is going to be my greatest transcontinental flight ever.

“Excuse me? Hello? Ma’am? Are you sure this is your seat?” I hear a woman’s British accent across the aisle.

“I don’t know, love, I don’t think she knows English,” her husband says.

“Well, she’s sitting in my seat, can you help her?”

I look over and realize the woman who tripped over my duffle is sitting in the wrong seat on the other side of the plane.

I roll my eyes and watch the exchange.

Then I remember I have an empty seat next to me. Oh, no.

She’s supposed to be sitting next to me!

I stand up to let her squeeze by, but she doesn’t want to move.

She looks at me with sad eyes. “Please, sir! Please sir!”

“Please” what? What does she want? Then I see she wants to sit where I was sitting and have me sit in the middle.

She starts to scream louder and now people on the plane are looking at me.

“Please, sir, please!”

I bite my lip and sat in the middle seat.

She grins from ear to ear and sits down… in the aisle seat. My aisle seat. My seat with the extra 3″ of legroom.

My seat that was going to make my transatlantic flight amazing.

Whatever. How bad can it be?

As it turns out, pretty bad. She still doesn’t smell the best, and as we take off she screams and grabs my arm as tight as possible.

She’s afraid to fly. This can’t get any worse.

Look, I’m a blessed man. I have a wonderful wife, a good job and nice shoes. But sometimes, I take it all for granted and am more concerned with myself instead of than others.

This woman next to me is terrified. She’s reciting prayers to herself and damn near cutting off my arm circulation with her hand.

Why am I such a jerk?

So I start trying to talk to her.

“Hey, are you okay? Hello? Are you okay?”

She starts to loosen her grip on my arm (thank God).

Turns out her name is Arjan, and she’s on her first flight, ever. To London, nonetheless.

She’s going to try and find her son who ran away from her a few years ago. It’s taken this long for her to save enough money to fly and try to find him.

She has no idea where he is, and she doesn’t speak English.

And she was conquering her greatest fear, flying, to try to find him.

Crazy, right?

Kind of puts things in perspective in life.

She wants to see her son, and I all I want is my stupid seat that I had no idea existed until some website told me about it.

She wins, and I need a wakeup call.

I give her my email address and told her if she needed anything I’d try to help her.

Arjan, if you’re out there, I hope you find your son.

Anyone want my seat?

Sneak Peek of the Re-Launched Michael Bastian

Jeremy — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 16:11:02 +0000

Yup, MB is back and thank goodness he is.

Awhile back, most of you folks heard that MB was taking a season off to get his ducks in a row and line up new factories for his collection. This was largely due to the fact that he had bought back his license from Brunello Cucinelli (who basically controlled his prices) and wanted get his prices down to more realistic means.

Kind of a bold move wouldn’t you say?

MB knows his craft and with the help of other brilliant people on his team (like Antonio Ciongoli) made a beautiful collection. Last time I was in their office, I saw the sketchbooks and almost handed them my credit card. This season’s theme is James Dean and looks like some early pics of the final collection have made their way online (thanks @bergdorfs). See for yourself…